Milken to institute new dress code, effective next week

SPECIAL PURIM EDITION: 2012

Michael Kessler

Editor-in-Chief

“Do well, be well, dress well.”

Upper school principal Dr. Roger Fuller’s iconic words  have become a staple of the Milken lexicon, and starting next week, that final, memorable phrase will receive new, unprecedented meaning.

Following a four month sabbatical spent in an Amish community in north central Indiana, Fuller has decided to implement a new, stricter dress code that closely mirrors typical Amish garb.

Girls will be required to wear solid-color dresses, preferably black, with long sleeves and a full skirt. Boys must wear straight-cut suits and coats in strictly black color. Also required are broad felt hats similar to those worn in the Orthodox community.

“It was a true shock to come back to Milken and find such inappropriate clothing worn by our community,” Fuller said in front of a stunned, speechless student body at a recent town meeting. “I was appalled at the low-cut skirts, rampant cleavage and horrific sagging displayed by our students, and I immediately made it my number one priority to drastically alter our dress code.”

As an alternative, Dr. Jonathan Cassie, assistant principal and New England native, has implemented an optional dress code in the style of New England fishermen. This style of dress requires a full-body rubber orange suit and latex gloves worn at all times.

“The New England fishermen I know are some of the most disciplined, professional individuals in the world,” Cassie said. “Much of that is due to their strict attire, which I believe will help instill similar values in our students.”

Featured image courtesy of nursing322sp10.wordpress.com.

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