Milken: Reinventing The Wheel

Shani Erdman

News Editor

Yes, the rumors are true. Beginning this summer, Milken will undergo significant renovations with the goal of becoming the best academic institution in the nation.

Here is a brief description of the changes to come:

The Milken Mart will expand to become a restaurant open to Milken and non-Milken community members alike. Tables will form a circle around a fountain depicting Mr. Martin, English teacher, gracefully spewing water from his mouth in the center of the amphitheater.

In order to meet Milken’s new high standards, every student will now be required to be fluent in Hebrew and complete Hebrew Honors 10.

Teachers will be required to get a Milken logo tattooed onto their right bicep starting next fall.

“I’m really looking forward to the tattoo process. I’m hoping that there are color choices because I’d like my tattoo to be purple. Purple is my favorite color,” Leigh Fauber, Science teacher, said.

Milken has bought all of Skirball’s territory and is planning to build a swimming pool on the land instead. The new swimming pool will be utilized for Oneg pool parties. Also, soccer fields will be installed on Milken’s rooftop by the fall of 2017.

Seniors will finally be getting a new Milken branded water filtration drinking system just in time for graduation.

Last but not least, next year’s students will all be required to wear Milken apparel in the aim of advertising the new “Mmilken” line of clothing.

“It’s too bad I won’t be here next year. I love wearing Milken clothing and am so jealous that everyone will get to wear those snazzy, comfortable Milken sweats to school,” Marci Miller ‘15 said.

More renovations are still being decided upon. In the upcoming faculty meeting, administrators will vote on whether or not to demolish the freshman area in order to build a mini Chipotle.

To stay tuned on Milken’s renovations, follow @bestschoolever on Instagram.

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