It is no secret that Chava and his admired fruit cart have recently disappeared from campus, leaving a gaping hole in the right side of the amphitheater. While people have been speculating about this loss for the past few months, The Roar special investigative unit (SIU) is now bringing you the truth of where the fruit has really gone.
Last week, when the Milken Boys Varsity Soccer Team faced off against New Jewish Community High School, many Wildcats caught sight of New Jew students holding plastic containers decorated with the warm and comforting colors of pineapples, mangos, and watermelons. At first, the boys just dismissed this as yet another instance of New Jew’s duplicitous nature.
“We were all like, ‘Wow I can’t believe New Jew copied us again and got their own fruit stand’,” Shachar Astor ’13 said.
The truth was revealed at halftime when New Jew parents proclaimed their gratitude for the “healthy new snack that had recently come to campus.” One mother then said, “And that Chava is a true angel!”
After receiving a frantic phone call from two Milken Wildcat fans, The Roar SIU set forth a plan to find Chava.
Rumor had it that Chava disappeared due to out-of-season fruit or that his hours were cut because Vicki needed extra help serving fajitas. Although these particular assumptions proved false, it has been confirmed that Chava is in fact helping out in somebody else’s kitchen.
Since December 1, Chava has been working part time at New Jew, operating a fruit stand almost identical to the one that once graced our own campus. He was offered a company car, an increase in salary, and a great retirement package to sway him from his Milken perch.
“I heard that the students there really love papaya and I hated seeing my exotic fruit go to waste here at Milken. I was just testing out the waters. I really meant no harm!” Chava said.
Chava plans to return to his roots, declaring his admiration and love for Milken. He apologizes to all the loyal fruit customers who felt betrayed by this change. He commends Milken on its superior student body in every regard and looks forward to getting back to work.
Lemonchilisalt? This triple threat will be back on campus before you know it, but are you willing to share it with more than just your friends at lunch?